New Years Eve (LONG!)

"After much deep and profound brain things inside my head" (king Julius from madagascar), i decided i would make some new years resolutions, and take a peak at the old ones. now, this is hard for me to admit how bad i am at some things, but hopefully by stating my weaknesses, i can begin to work on them.

last years resolutions:

be COMPLETELY debt free by the end of the year!!! (an ambitious goal, but i am determined)

well that obviously didn't happen. if we hadn't gotten the house we probably would be? but you just never know...and since that isn't the path we took...we are still in debt, but working on getting out of it.

-read scriptures daily (even if it's reciting some in my head)

yeah, this is one that i'm bad at. i'd (rather) pick up an Ensign and read an article or two on a specific topic, but i want to get more acquainted with the scriptures like i was in seminary! and i guess i always use the excuse of i need to focus to read and get something out of what i read, and with the kids it doesn't seem like i can get enough consecutive time, but anything is possible. this could be the year!

-get Kathryn in speech therapy

well at least i got one thing done! kathryn has been in speech therapy, and done well.

-go to Foxy's at LEAST once a week!

yeah, that so didn't happen, but i got close in december...

-have a part-time job (work from home)

well, i have been on again off again with this one... but then again, i don't think this is totally necessary, so i'm not concerned

-have daily family prayer

well, this was one thing we definitely improved on, towards the middle of the year, i snapped into place, and we prayed like we should (before meals, before bed, when we were hurt or sad) and we certainly said at least 1 prayer a day, and i am so glad! i have seen a difference with kathryn, now she can say her own prayers and even says them when she's playing "pretend" with her toys. even daniel has learned when to be reverent and usually does good during prayers.

-do at least one thing on my long term to do list per week

yeah, this happened more like once every month or every other month...only cuz i didn't have it written down anywhere, which i have changed. this has a lot to do with being more organized, so if i do this, the organization comes with it.

-read the entire Book of Mormon by the end of the year!

yeah, i got started, but once again, never finished... i wish i could keep it going, but when i don't read consecutively, i have a hard time remembering what happened, so i have to reread a few verses, and by that time, i am just about asleep!

well, enough about the past year...

on to some new resolutions:

1. being more grateful, complaining less

yeah i need to work on this quite a bit. i guess i really don't realize i am being so "ungrateful" until after the fact, and i look back on it or read what i wrote, and suddenly...i'm complaining about something so silly and stupid. i was telling John today how much i've changed since we moved into the house...before we moved in i had a list of all the things i wanted to change about the house, and now that we are in the house and money is tight...i look back at the list and think how trivial all those things were. and i am grateful that we even have a house! and i really don't think most of that stuff i had written down was worth spending money on.

so to accomplish this, i have in mind to, at least 1 to 3 times a week, look back on the current week and think of things that relate to what is happening that i am grateful for, and WRITE IT DOWN... i'll probably put the list where i can see it and remember to BE GRATEFUL.

2. get organized

well, this entails quite a bit. i seem to have a ton of "stuff "piled places that just keeps getting moved around, i also have things i forget i have because they aren't put somewhere where i will remember i have it. so, besides going through the piles of stuff, i want to have a better idea of what i have, so i want to go through most of it, and decide where it will go for good. we have a lot of things in temporary spots, and that needs to change. a long with getting organized and knowing what i have, is making and working on a long term to do list.

i plan to start in sections going through, cleaning deciding what we need/want to keep, make a list of things to add/change and how - add to my long term to do list, and accomplish 1 thing on the list per month.

3. working out

i really want to get back in shape and feel good again and have energy. and my problem is i don't work out enough. i am starting out at 147 lbs and my goal is 135.

so along with eating better, i am going to try to go to foxy's (while we still have the membership) at least 3 times a week and attempt to get some exercise at home in some way.

4. read scriptures: new testament, book of mormon seminary style.

well, i decided to assign myself specific sections to read and this year i want to use the seminary/institute manual along with it to get a good understanding of what i'm reading.

i'm going to try to keep up a daily study routine to make it happen. i have found that reading the scriptures on the church website (scriptures.lds.org) i get more out of it, because all the footnotes are highlighted and you just click and can cross-reference all the footnotes, so i get a better understanding of what the verse means. i really like reading this way.

5. take the time to take better care of ME (hygiene, health, spiritual)

as a mom and especially me, i seem to neglect myself all too often. so i am going to take that "me" time that focuses on just me, myself and i. no projects involved, or finishing this or that, just time to better myself.

in the hygiene area, i will work on taking care of my skin (lotion, face wash, toner, etc) and i want to get better at fixing my hair and putting on makeup (i have no talent in this area). i just want to feel pretty again, but that requires time, so this year i will work on that.

in the health area, i want to eat a good balanced diet, and i plan to accomplish this by having a meal calendar that stays on the fridge to reference, so i can cook healthy things. i also want to try new meals this year, we seem to be stuck in a dinner rut. along with eating right, i also will be getting more exercise, which was another separate goal.

in the spiritual area, i have already made a goal to read scriptures, and another goal is to go to the temple, but i also want to develop a stronger relationship with my Heavenly Father through daily personal prayer.

6. FHE

in an effort to have a good spirit in our home and to reach our children right, i want to have weekly Family Home Evening. we had it going for a while, but it tapered off. i want to keep it going for the kids sake, so i am setting the goal this year.

7. focus on the kids happiness

sometimes i can get wrapped up in "getting things done" that i forget what is important...there is plenty of quotes out there that say something like "i'll put off the house work to play with the kids, they grow up fast, so the cleaning comes last" or something like that... and i want to enjoy the time i have with my kids a little bit more than i do now. i'd like to do something special with them at least 2 times a week, depending on how creative i am and how much my brain wants to think. i just love seeing my kids happy and having a good time, so i just want to see that more.

8. forgive and forget

i never really thought i had much of a problem with this, i always thought i was pretty forgiving, but recently a self-examination revealed i still have some forgiving to do. so in the new year, i'd like to dig deep, forgive those who i've not forgiven, and make amends. and the most important part of forgiving is forgetting. not letting something from the past come back up in a spiteful way.

9. spend more time with extended family, make time for friends

i can be bad about putting it off for another day, but without family and friends, you don't have much. so i'd like to stregthen my relationship with them all.

visit with family that lives in town at least twice a month, and those that live out of town, every other month. i'd like to have game nights with dinner so we can get together and have a good time. and i'd like to try to visit with the friends i have at least twice a month as well. after all, what's a friend that you don't see/talk to but once a month? i want to be more thoughtful and caring and remember what is important to those i care about.

10. go to the temple at least once a month

this is a big deal. i will set the goal to once a month just in case i can't find a babysitter for the kids, but this is so important for my "spiritual alignment". i want to be a better person, and can't do it without Christ. so going to the House of the Lord should help me stay in tune with the spirit.

11. be debt free except the mortgage

this year this is going to happen. and when it does, i'd love to be able to call in to the Dave Ramesy show and scream "WE'RE DEBT FREE!!!" i also want to make a list of "stats" and maybe frame it...but the most important thing about being debt free...NEVER CHOOSING TO GO INTO DEBT AGAIN! i recommend the "My Total Money Makeover" book by Dave Ramesy, but not for the light-hearted. i am serious about this debt thing, i even made vinyl lettering (thanks Jamie) with Dave's slogan "if you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else". i want to be able to live and give like no one else.

12. Work on scrapbooking my pictures

this is also huge. i am already behind, but i need to start now before i fall even more behind! i dunno where i will be at the end of the year, but i'd like to set a goal to finish 2 pages a week? we'll start there and see where it goes. i want to write down all the memories i still remember before i forget them!

that's it for now. maybe once a month i will give an update on how i am doing with each goal. i've set up a log so i can keep track. (that's just who i am =P) here's to being a better person and getting things done!

A little more quality time with the kids

I suppose i sometimes get caught up in what i think needs to get done, that all day long the kids are left trailing after me trying to keep up and get my attention... and then i take a second to pause and realize my priorities are off yet again, and i see my two beautiful children and remember what my purpose is.

i ran errands earlier this morning, and i knew i wouldn't have the car, so i decided today i would catch up on the quality time with the kids. you know, playing with their toys with them, teaching them how to play, share, learn, etc. and catching those moments where you gasp for one of the kids did something you didn't think they could do (a good thing) and you think...when did they learn this??? where was i??

so i had 2 of those moments today. we have some chunky puzzles (wooden) and i saw daniel for the first time i noticed, put all the pieces in the right spot, the first try. he picked up a piece, studied it for a second, then put it where it went! i remember the last time we sat and did puzzles together (a few weeks ago) he had it all wrong and was trying to force pieces where they didn't belong...it made me so happy i cried a little! my little boy is growing up and he is getting so smart. he understands so much more than i give him credit for. he is such a blessing to me.

and the other moment was with kathryn. my mom came over to visit and spent the day with us at home, and the time came for kathryn to be done with movies and spend a little quality time with me . we put puzzles together (she is really good at it!) and we played matching games (she loves these, she is also very good at them). well, one of the matching games i created myself, is a "word" matching game. to help them get used to reading words. i wrote them out in my handwriting in an effort for her to get used to reading actual handwriting vs font type. well, anyway, i had good intentions...and granted we have only played this game 1 other time, (she has been watching a lot of Word World tho) when the word "duck" was revealed before my mom or i could say what the word was kathryn said "duck" my mouth dropped! wow! she has seen the Word World duck spell out so much that she remembered what it looked like? either way it was so exciting for me. then she started saying "lemme spell this word for you" as she proceeded to point and say each letter in order from left to right (after some guidance on where to start) what was even more cute was when she was spelling out "duck" (when i write fast my "c"s seem to curve up more than down) she said "D-U- (paused)-U-K" she thought my sloppy "c" was a "U" and it did kinda look that way! anyhow. she is developing her listening skills and comprehension quicker than i expected (i was bad at that as a kid) and it is so fun watching all this take place.

i love my little kiddos and they are my life, and i wouldn't have it any other way

get over it!

so i had a very busy day. i really wanted to get some visiting in while i still could since John was off, and i had a list of things i wanted to get done.

we left the house at 11am and after depositing one of the reimbursement checks in the bank, we went to my mom's. we went to my sister Natalie's and Daniel took a nap so i got to play the Wii. we then headed to Khol's, Micheal's, and last to Best Buy for some specific shopping... well, on the way from Michael's i remembered i needed to call the stupid credit card company and find out what happened with the finance charges etc. i hate talking to these people, so i was dreading it...i guess for the fear that it was my fault and there was nothing they were going to do...

so i called them and talked to the customer service rep who didn't have any information i didn't already know, and said simply "the management team decides when to terminate the promotions" "ok, then i want to speak to a manager" "ok, let me transfer you" and by that time we had gotten to the last store and was in the parking lot waiting...kathryn asleep, daniel being good for once when the car is not on... i waited for 20 mins, which i expected, and i finally got someone who could give me a better clue. they started enforcing the promotion rules in the fall, and when we were late in september, that set us up to be terminated...apparently, there was a note on the september statement saying something along the lines that we were being given 60 days to opt out of the finance charges, "i never got anything in the mail" "well, you are signed up for e-statements, so you wouldn't have gotten anything via mail, you would have had to have looked at your september statement online to see it" "well that would explain why i didn't know" after i beat around the bush about any possiblilities of me getting out of this, the guy says, there is nothing we can do and says to have a good day...yeah, sure, easy for you to say. and it hit me...how did i not check and how did i not see this notice, i was given an opportunity to avoid it and let it pass! and so i cried. i bawled my eyes out for making such a stupid mistake. and just when i thought i pulled myself together, i would think back and cry some more. and then i finally decided i wanted to get into the store and out and be done with it and go home, and i wanted to call my best friend. so i got to talk to Amanda while i walked around best buy trying to find one thing that i was not seeing... and after talking to her about it she gave me an idea, and suddenly i felt better. there could be a solution to this problem. it was a mistake, i made it, and i needed to get over it! so i decided at the last minute while heading home (seeing the 5:00 traffic did it) that i would see if my Granny was home. so i went and visited with her for a while, and cheered up. on the way home i listened to the Dave Ramsey show and it got me to thinkin, so when i got home i checked something...

the september statement wasn't online to view and since i never got a hard copy i wouldn't know what it said, but on the Oct - Nov statements, it says nothing of the promotion being terminated and having 60 days to opt out...which i find odd, shouldn't they have that as a note until it no longer applies?? so i ordered a sept statement, and i'll see once and for all. after that, i'll take action and it will be over and done with. i have to keep telling myself "GET OVER IT!!"

and there were a lot of things on my mind recently that i just had to "get over" i think i'm over it.

i checked the mail after i put the kids in bed, and i was cheered up. my Gymnastics Coach at BRMHS (Kevin Nee) sent me a Christmas card with a picture of his crew and he said "it's so nice to hear from you!" (i sent him a Christmas card) and that made me happy. i miss him and the gymnastics days. i want to go visit but i'm not even sure if the old building is still open...

and we got a Christmas card from a lady back in Cali from John's mission so that was nice too.

and the last thing that put the icing on the cake saying "get over it"...we got the last big reimbursement check from Walgreens. it was as if the Lord was patting my shoulder saying "there there, there there, don't you know i've got you covered? now hush up and get over it" thank you.

on a positive note

woo, so i guess i've got enough of the negative out to have a positive post.

i went to church Sunday, and somehow, i actually got to hear one of the talks in Sacrament while sitting in the foyer trying to keep the kids contained... the talk was about how we should stop measuring our lives and our success by our possesions, that we should not be of the world. and how easy it is to turn a want into coveting a certain item... and how we need to take a step back and see if our "needs" are really needs. none of our possessions will be taken with us when we die, so what's all the fuss about? and basically the lesson was, be aware of your spiritual needs and soon your temporal wants will fade.

anyhow, i am not really summarizing it correctly, but it was very powerful to me. it's easy to think about all that you don't have and how much you want, but we should take a step back to appreciate what we do have, and realize there are people who aren't so lucky living just a few miles away. i know i love to daydream myself, and i could go on and on about what i "want" or "dream" of doing/having, but then reality sets in, and i realize just how much of those wants will not happen, because they are not needs. and then i begin to think of how much money or time would go into something and is it even worth it? sometimes i can get wrapped up in what comes next and forget to take a moment and ask Heavenly Father what his plan is for me. i can get pretty off track sometimes, but i am glad that occasionally i can hear a talk or two that is "just what i needed to hear" to make me stop and turn back to the right path, doing the things i should be doing, not wasting time on the trival things that don't matter.

one thing that always helps me is hearing other people's predicaments that are worse than my own. one thing that will make you thankful for your problems is seeing some you are glad you don't have! oh yes, as much as i can hate the problems i do have, i am grateful for them. they have taught me valuable lessons, and made me a smarter person. so folks, be grateful for what you have for a second or two.

i am very fortunate to have found a hardworking husband, that the Lord blessed with a great job, and that we were able to get into a house so early. we really have it good amidst all the woes of financial stress, at the end of the day we really don't have anything to complain about. and far often than not, it's easier to look at the negative side of things (that's satan working on ya). so here's to being grateful for my trials and weaknesses!

beating myself up

i really hate owing people money.

but what i hate more is owing money to the credit card companies...like Dave says they are snakes. Well, we have one card in particular we hate because the interest rates are 30% when you aren't in your promotional period, which is absolutely outrageous...but it's the card for fixing all my dental problems. i had work done in Jan 09 that i put on this card and it has a promotional period of no interest for 12 months, so obviously, in Jan 2010 it will expire, and when it does it will add the interest that was "deferred" over the whole year which for us would be $415 which is just ridiculous, but anyhow, supposedly if you are late on a payment you will forfeit the promotion and deferred finance charges will be added. well, for some reason, we were late in April paying them...i was not on top of things and we were late...but we didn't have the finance charges added to the bill... which i thought was odd... so we kept paying, and in Sept we were late by 2 days or something? which they also never added these deferred finance charges...well, we had a balance of $800 and since the deal would be expiring soon, i was going to pay off the balance as soon as we got paid this week... today i get on to see what needed to be paid with this check and see this bill was on it, so i go to the website, (which btw the billing cycle starts over on the 17th of every month, so it just rolled over a new cycle recently) and i see that they have added these deferred interest charges of $415 flippin dollars... at the bottom it says the promotion was terminated because minimum payment was not paid when due... i haven't been late the last 2 months, but i know i have been late...so, why did they wait till now??? ugh, i swear i'm fighting this one... i know i paid it late, but shouldn't they have acknowledged it by tacking on the interest then?? i am just so frustrated with this...we don't have freakin $400 dollars to dish out!!! with all these other bills that we have and all the sacrifices we are/were making it just feels like we have fallen down and now that we are down all the creditors and bills are just beating the crap out of us till there is nothing left.

i guess the part that i hate the most is, i should have been with it and paid it on time... and this could have been prevented... i have paid my share of stupid tax, but recently it feels like i should know better, and i slip up and man that was one costly mistake... and i can't get over it. we don't get to enjoy our income right now it seems. yes we have a house, but we aren't living a lavish lifestyle in the least... most of the things we have have been gifts... i can't tell you the last time i bought clothes for myself. cuz it was probably around my birthday and i spent all of 6 dollars at the thrift store on a new shirt and pants...well new to me anyway. we are barely living paycheck to paycheck and something like this comes up, and that valuable money is gone. and i constantly pray for a way out. when we get our income tax return (thanks to the $8000 tax credit we will get for buying the house) it will basically all go towards getting out of debt. and we will have almost nothing left after that. and even with that $375 a month that will be freed up from being out of debt save the mortgage, we will hardly feel it...car insurance is going up, with spring coming, that means the electric bill will be going up, we will actually be able to have a real grocery budget (we try to work with $160 a month for groceries (which is not just food but anything we need from the store)) and soon that savings is spent and it will be hard to find room for "savings" to get that second vehicle or to "splurge" and go to a movie theater or a restuarant. when will it turn around and we can start getting traction is the question... and that to a point is out of my control. with john's crazy work hours it's impossible for me to find a side job especially since we only have one car... so it's all up to john. he's doing great with impressing the DM, but will it be enough? i try to be understanding, and when he stays late to finish something, i know why. i've let him have his video games to relax him, and try not to pester him about what he's not doing. he's under a lot of pressure. he knows he needs to stand out, and that means putting in 200%, working those extra hours cleaning up someone else's' mess, and that is incredibly annoying and stressful. so i'm not going to hassle him.

i am just down. i want so badly to be free of this mess so i can feel happy, cuz it's hard to feel happy with so much stress about money... i just want to scream sometimes when i hear people talking about money and their version of "cutting back". and i know i am certainly not in the worst condition, there are people on the Dave Ramsey talk show that make you want to cry for them their problems are so much worse... but these people fussing because they feel like it's so hard to cut out the "luxuries" (shopping, restaurants, movie theaters, etc) you know what, maybe a little sacrifice is good for you...

anyway, blah blah blah, life just sucks to me right now. hopefully going to church tomorrow will cheer me up? if the kids decide to behave. sigh.... i am done being stressed. i just want a day to relax and release all this tension.

Christmas

i left my camera at my in-laws, so i will have to post pictures of Christmas later...

i want to just state before anyone reads on, i am feeling not so nice, so i may offend someone, but i will be stating my opinion...

so this Christmas, John and I agreed like we have since we've been married, we won't be exchanging gifts again this year, we want to be out of debt more. See, this year it was ok, we got our house as an early Christmas gift so we were set. But this year would be different, we loathe our debt so much, that we got our kids 1 toy that John found on clearance in the summer, and they got some new clothes that i spent all of $10 total on. and that was our kids Christmas from us.

Now some people have in some way let me know that they think that is wrong and ridiculous to not have a ton of presents for the kids to open. Well i am so sorry that there are people that feel that way, but MY kids don't need presents from us to know we love them. besides Mimi & Pop and Grammie got them PLENTY of gifts so they certainly aren't lacking. (and i couldn't say thank you enough for all the wonderful gifts that were given. they are so appreciated. we can't wait till we can start "giving like no one else") and they aren't old enough to know "who" gave them what so they could care less who it came from. so we instead tried to center this holiday around Christ like it should be.

So Christmas with my sisters and mom was at my house, and yes, i wasn't as together as i would have liked, but how does anyone learn how to host without having the practice...now i know how to do things differently. anyhow, the food was great.

i made the ham and stuffing which was simple, Jenn made a yummy blueberry cobbler that stained everyone's teeth blue (haha) and rolls... Nats brought yummy green bean casserole and brownies, Angie brought yummy potato salad and peas, Mom (who has pneumonia, and almost didn't get to come, but i'm so glad she did!) brought Veggies to munch and Apple pie and yummy deviled eggs, and of course Steph made yummy sweet potato casserole, and cute little gingerbread cookies with a cream cheese dip.

so i didn't have any Christmas placemats and went to see how much they were, but it was far too expensive for me to buy any, so luckily, Corine had a Christmas table cloth and some green fabric that matched so i cut placemats out of the fabric and it looked great to me. i had to smile at the thriftiness of it all. and of course i thought of my friend Amanda, she is good at those kinds of things.

yes Nats, my chairs are horribly stained, and yes, seat covers are probably a good idea, but they cost money, and messes happen with kids so often that i don't even think about what mess they leave behind, it becomes part of life.

and yes Jenn, the curtains aren't sufficient enough to shield the light from shining in your eyes, nor does the light fixture above the table yield much light, but once again, we just deal with it.

so we played taboo because i LOVE games and that always puts me in a good mood, whether i am winning or losing...and Steph was soo good at Taboo! i had fun just listening to her come up with clues so fast and get her team to guess the words... but Jenn apparently didn't have so much fun because i didn't know the Kentucky Derby was known for the Mint Juleps everyone drinks while there (i mean, come on, who doesn't know that!?!) but oh well, i won't try to play that game with Jenn anymore. then we tried Apples to Apples, and somehow, Nats is SOOO dominant in that game every time she plays, she wins! i have to laugh. i just like to have fun. next game i need to get is scategories, cuz that is a fun game that makes you think... i'll have to get a group together again and have a game night. and i used to play Canasta with my mom all the time and i miss that too. i also really want to get a big enough group together to play cranium. somehow i don't know enough people that like to play games like me, so it seems to never work!

anyhow, my mom got me a salad spinner which was such a thoughtful gift, i love my lettuce but i have to rinse it every time, and i kept saying every time she was here that i wish i had a salad spinner to spin all the water off...thanks mom i love the gift. and Nats gave me some more of her african violet leaves, which was so awesome. i can't wait to see them sprout little babies. thanks Nats!

and i somehow thought it would be a good idea to paint before Christmas which turned out to be a lousy idea, it took so much longer than i had planned, but i had to finish, and now that i am, i'm so glad it's painted. it's a vibrant green and that's what i was going for, something to brighten up the room. now do i care what anyone's opinion is on the color? uh, no, so if you don't like it, good for you! like an old man told me by the deli counter, "it's a good thing we don't all like the same things, the world would be pretty boring" yep. and i like the color. i love green and brown together, i am a warm colors kind of person, so i can see (in the future) a brown couch with nice chocolate brown furniture that matches... it is so soothing to me. i can't wait to finish painting. i just love color.

and i will finish off with how thankful i am for all that we have. i am grateful that we have our house, and that we have such generous family members that will help in whatever way they can, for without them, we certainly wouldn't have much. i was realizing just how many things in our home were gifts from family, very appreciated gifts. and i thank all of you for your generosity. we are glad we decided to stay and be closer with the family that lives here. i love my in-laws and couldn't have asked for a better family to marry in to. i've strengthened the relationships with them and love them dearly. they are always there for me and i realize that i'm spoiled in that respect. thank you all. love you! Merry Christmas!

goals

so i planned ahead... i wanted to paint the living room area last night that was my goal to get that started. i figured since i was going to be doing it alone, it'd be best to do it while the kids were sleeping... so i did my best to keep the kids up and they had no naps so they would go to bed earlier so i could have more time to paint. well, it was a success! daniel was a little trooper and made it till 7 when he finally passed out eating. so i began moving stuff away from the walls, getting everything prepared, while kathryn was constantly asking me what i was doing. it was cute tho, i'd tell her, i have to move the books off the bookcase so i can move the bookcase away from the wall, and she'd say "oh, ok. tan i help?" so she helped. oh, it's nice having her be at that age where she can ACTUALLY help instead of being in the way. i knew john wouldn't get home till about 8, and since i needed to get a paint roller stick and a drop cloth from MIL's i hoped i would start painting by 9. well, john didn't get home till 9 and i didn't get back from MIL's til about 9:40. so i was a bit behind, but oh well. i painted from 9:50 till 1:20am and i was done for the night. i had all the major walls painted except for the trim work and the very top that i couldn't reach.

the color is... a bit darker than i was aiming for, but that's only when it's dark outside. during the day it's great. so oh well, note to self in the future, pick a shade lighter than what you want, it seems to always turn out darker... but it is GREEN my very favorite color. and i am going to finish the trim work tonight. the rest of the house will wait until...we can afford it? lol.

kathryn has been doing great. she went all day today without any pain medicine, and she is eating pretty regularly, with the exception of chips and pretzels, they seem to be extra crunchy. i finally got a good look at her throat and it seems like the sores are healing, although i can't tell if the scabs have fallen off or not. it's day 8 and i think she will be able to eat normally for Christmas. yay for that!

oh, and we got our flex-pay reimbursement check today! although it doesn't do us much good until monday, but it's nice to know it came in. now we can wait for check #2, and we'll be much better.

pictures to come with the new paint. i have goals to finish!

venting

i begin to lose patience when i am hungry and it only gets worse the longer i wait...

so it's lunch time, and we don't have any clean bowls for the kids to use because they are all dirty...my fault, so i need to do the dishes...

i fix them some leftover jambalaya in the smallest storage containers i could find, and Dan has peaches as well... i stick dan in his high chair, kathryn gets in her seat, i get them something to drink so i can do the dishes while they are eating with no interruptions...

oh, did i mention i hadn't had any breakfast and i'm getting hungry, but i know if i don't take the opportunity to do the dishes when the kids are occupied and daniel is contained, it will take forever to do them (too much help from kiddos, constant interruptions, etc) so i sacrifice eating right away, to get the dishes done. oh the things mom's have to do...

i also put a show on for them so they would stay occupied... well, i got the dishes almost done when i was hearing daniel throw his bowl and spoon on the floor, so i go clean him up and let him get down, quickly go back to doing the dishes so i can finish...kathryn wants to watch Word World on the PC, i tell her to go click it (the PBS kids site was already up, and in the right spot, she just had to click a character which she does all the time) she starts pitching a fit about how i HAVE to help her...so i go turn it on, come back...just a few more dishes... and done, i put soap in, close it, and turn it on...yay, clean dishes coming soon. and i am super hungry!

daniel is whining at my feet and following me around the kitchen as i pull out the last of the pulled pork, heat it up in the microwave, and proceed to make a sandwich...all the while dan is trying to push me away from the counter to pay attention to him..."it's mommy's turn to eat now daniel, i didn't get to eat while you and kathryn ate, mommy was doing the dishes...so now i need to eat, please let me sit down and eat" well, i get my sandwich together, get some water and sit...ahhh, so nice to sit... i take a bite and daniel is "unh unh" trying to climb onto my chair, saying "bie bie" he wants a bite of my sandwich... i give him a bite, he runs off kathryn comes in, "mommy mommy i wan watch elmo songs" so i take another bite, get up to change shows and see daniel running toward my chair, i turned and told him "don't you dare daniel, that is mommy's sandwich you leave it alone!" and hurried up switched the disk, and turn around to see daniel walking toward me with what appeared to be the sandwich in one hand... i said "NO DANIELLLLL" as i rushed toward him to realize he only had one slice of bread...the rest with all the pulled pork was mangled on the floor....the dirty floor... UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M FREAKIN HUNGRY AND YOU GO AND RUIN MY LUNCH YOU LITTLE MUNCHKIN!!!

i cannot tell you... i felt like... ugh, my hot yummy lunch was gone... now i had to take more time to figure out what i was going to do for lunch...we have nothing quick...except sweet stuff (candy, cookies) why do our kids have to drive us flippin nuts... why can't i just sit and eat in peace and not get up until i finish ::tears:: it's just not fair. daddy gets to do it all the time...i just want one meal where i can eat it HOT... i guess i'll have to go lock myself in a room for that to happen. it shouldn't be this way.

ok, i'm done, sorry i had to get that off my chest.

a new color, lots of bows

yesterday - (i didn't get a chance to post)

so one of my goals was to finish my bows, and i did most of them, so i'm calling it good. i took pictures, so i'm including alot of them.

MY BOWS:

all of my big bows

all of my little bows

the bows with tails in better light

JENNI'S BOWS:
big bows
more big bows

LSU bows

Christmas bows

little bows

i also worked on finishing my christmas cards, which i didn't get to finish, but i will do that today.

and since Kathryn fell asleep at home with John while i had my "away" time, i left her with John, and took Daniel with me to my MIL's. i had volunteered to help her dye her hair, and she was ready to do it. since Daniel didn't have a nap all day and it was 7 when we got there...he had fallen asleep, which was fine with me. i had plans... i would color Corine's hair and she could help me color mine! so we had a hair coloring party. lol.

i didn't get to take a picture of it until this morning, so i don't have her in the picture, but we basically came out with the same hair color. which was my plan all along. (heheh) i thought i had told her in the past how much i loved her color, and asked her what it was called, she said dark auburn. well, i've never had luck getting the color to turn out right, so i went with medium auburn...PERFECT! hahah.

i'm busy so i'll be going.

i love my Kathryn

the joy of running out of eggs and milk is you have to get creative with breakfast. i almost always eat cereal for breakfast because i don't like to wait to eat... but the last 2 mornings, i've made banana pancakes. they are sooo good. and pretty quick and easy. and the kids gobble them up. even without syrup! this morning kathryn was watching me pour batter and she looked at me and said "thank you mommy for making me pancakes, i love them" aw, that's so sweet. and i gave her a big hug and told her thanks for letting me know she's thankful. then she told me she loves my bows i make, "they pretty" she says. it's so cute that she comes up with these compliments on her own! she is so cute. oh, and one more story, when we went into the ditch, and the cop came, he went back in his car after talking to us to do the paper work, and she walks over to him, peeks in his car and tells him "you not wearing you seatbelt! you need you seatbelt on, put you seatbelt on" haha, too funny, telling a cop to put his seatbelt on. he told her he will as soon as he gets ready to drive again. and he told her "thank you for reminding me to be safe, will you keep your family safe too for me?" "yes" i forgot to mention that little exchange. it made me smile.

something that struck me as funny, this morning since we weren't going to church, i put on christmas music. kathryn kept telling me she loved the jingle bell songs. so when a song would come on that wasn't jingle bells, she'd say "i don't like that one" but i would tell her "no, listen, this is what it's about", and she would say "oooh" and so the next song that came on was barum bum bum bum bum, which i knew as "neil diamond" although there are many versions...and i said that to kathryn, and she got really upset, and i said "no kathryn, this is a really good song" by that time the words to "little drummer boy" came on and so i try to start telling her what the song is about, but suddenly i get a choked up and i can't talk... so i try to clear up and tell her it's about a little drummer boy, but i can hardly finish before my voice cuts off and i start crying... yeah, kinda random, i know...and if i didn't know any better, this would make me wonder... but anyhow, i can't seem to pull myself together, so i go ahead and tell her what the song is about while i'm in tears... "it's about this drummer boy who sees the King is born, and he wants to give the baby Jesus a present, but he has no money, he's just a poor boy, so he goes and plays his drum for the baby Jesus and the baby Jesus smiles, see it's a good song! because we don't have to bring Jesus lots of presents, he just wants us to love Him, and follow Him and be good and nice to everyone!" imagine what kathryn must be thinking! my voice was getting that high pitch and tears were rolling...and she says "you like dat song mommy" "yes, i do sweetie" and she gives me a hug.

and so we started talking about Jesus and she ended with "i love Him!" it's neat to see them developing their reasoning skills. she seems to be doing pretty good this morning.

A successful saturday

so kathryn is on Day 5 and she is starting to want regular food again...pretzel sticks, gold fish, chicken nuggets, candy... you know, stuff that would hurt her throat. i've tried to get close to normal eating, but i'm not pushing our luck...but she wanted pickles, and she must've eaten 20 sliced pickles today...i didn't really think it would be bad, but looking back...it may have burned a bit. she was doing good right up until midnight when she started coughing and then crying and i could tell something wasn't right. i got her up and gave her some pain medicine as quick as i could, and she kept trying to cough like there was something to cough up...and i looked in her mouth, and i could see blood by her teeth...her scabs were starting to come off... i tried to convince her to spit the stuff out, but she kept trying to swallow it. she had something come out of her nose, maybe an adenoid scab and she spit up a small amount of blood but not much...from what i could see, the scabs at the top of her throat were still there, so looks like the next 2 days are going to be rough for her. i think we're going to have to stay home from church.

i bought paint! that makes it official! (i picked a color!) it really took me a while to decide on a color, and i'm wanting it to work. it was between two colors, and i can't wait to see what it looks like on the walls. i had a $50 gift card to Lowes that was given to us for the purpose of painting, and that was what i would use it for! i ended up getting 2 gallons to paint the living/breakfast/hall area...we'll have to see how far it goes. i also ran across a mis-tinted gallon that was clearanced for $5... valspar signature satin finish, which would work, and it was a nice green, not the right green, but i had imagined turning it to aqua and possibly painting the masterbath with it, well, she ran out of room in the can, so the color isn't exactly what i had in mind, but it's nice none the less, so i may stick with it and paint the craft room that color or i may dump some paint out and see if i can't get them to mess with it some more. either way, i got a $32 gallon of paint for $5! i couldn't pass it up. (the color worked)

i watched the Saints game at my in-laws, and man, that was a sad game. too bad they couldn't have a perfect season. i wonder if they'll make the superbowl. we'll have to see.

so i've been looking through some old pictures, and i came across quite a few that just made me smile. i'm working on a project to scan negatives from my printer to my pc, and my printer can do that! it is so completely awesome! i have begun to hate the thing, but now it has redeemed itself. maybe i'll keep it as a scanner and get a new printer, one that has cheaper ink!!!

this picture must be from 1995 or so, my sisters and me with my dad. from left to right: natalie, dad, me, jenn, steph. at my grandparents old house off of greenwell springs rd.

and i just love this one. what a classic of my dad with his brother Brent. they were pretty young! and handsome!

and i am working on those goals, getting closer...

getting stuff done

so i have a fanklin covey planner that i got 4 years ago and it seemed like i would go through spurts of using it and not, but ever since i started delivering the meals back in april i decided my purse wasnt big enough for my wallet and planner, so i transferred the important things from my wallet into my planner and i have it everywhere i go... but i still wasnt utilizing the main feature of the planner which was PLANNING...i have the daily planning pages that gives you 2 pages for each day so you can jot down anything that comes to your mind and there is even a time line you can fill in with when to do what...it's a fantastic system, and i decided back in october i would find the time to write in it and use it to refer to...write down future goals, what i need to do, what should have been done yesterday, etc...(this time i found to do this has nothing to do with the fact that my best friend left btw)

so it is my record of how successful i have been with getting stuff done. as of lately i also have been jotting down john's work schedule on the day itself, and this has been very helpful. i feel like i can really manage my time better when i can see what i should be doing... i happen to love the timeline feature and love to see how much i can fit into one day...hence the motivation to fill the slots! it also helps me realize how long a given task may take... there is even a part that has you write down goals for personal, social, family, physical, etc to get you to see how you can accomplish the within that week... for ex. working out at the gym...i would see it and make plans to do that one day that week...anyway, the system has lots of neat tools and tracker pages etc to really keep you on track and i love it.

so i got all my errands done today thanks to keeping track of them in my planner. and i had made a note a while back to find a sunny day that isnt too cold to finish transplanting my lettuce in my garden... and today was the perfect day, just after all that rain earlier in the week and last night, the ground was stilly soggy so the holes dug easily, and the plants came out with more roots since the soil was so wet... i was out there from about 3:30 til 5:45 when it got so dark i could barely see my hands... haha... that sounds like something my mom would do, garden at night... i guess i am her daughter! i was determined to finish, and i did with the exception of about 5 plants, but it looks so nice and it's done! now i just have to sit back and harvest whenever i please! i will never plant so many seeds at once again! it was too dark to get a picture, so all the pictures to come tomorrow... and the final count of lettuce plants i ended up with! (i gave about 30 to my MIL and i'm glad cuz i ran out of room) now i just need to go plant the ones at my MIL's!

so back to the planner, i have about 5 major things i want to get done by Christmas, so we'll have to see if i can get them all done...

1. finish bows i started on and try to sell them,

2. send out Christmas cards (which involves printing family picture, writing newsletter, printing newsletter, and addressing all the envelopes...which means gathering addresses)

3. finish scanning some pictures and burn to CDs

4. pick out a paint color and paint the living room with the gift card Aunt Mel and Uncle Danny gave us

5. clean the house good for Christmas when my family comes for lunch.

that's all folks

i'm glad i don't have cable

so i know that when your kid is not feeling well, you should give them what they want, but it just kills me to do this to an extent because it ruins the rules i've set up... now i want kathryn to be comfortable don't get me wrong, it's just, where do you draw the line? and when do you stop?

kathryn has been glued to the TV since her surgery...there have been a few "away" times, but the majority of the time has been spent in front of the TV. i'm not a stick-your-kids-in-front-of-a-movie-all-day kind of mom... so this has bugged me... but we don't have cable so tv for us is movies, and since all but 4 of her movies are scratched beyond playability, she doesn't usually watch tv. well, i knew she would want to be stuck in front of the tv, but i wasn't about to get stuck having to hear the stupid looney tunes cartoons over and over and over, so i asked Jamie if she would let us borrow some of their movies. she brought them over on monday, and kathryn has really taken to the Dora movies, she brought 3 Dora movies over. literally the last 2 days have been nothing but Dora and the occasional word world on pbskids.org... i at first thought Dora was a cute show. but after hearing it over and over and over... i realized, i can't stand some of the voices on there! and some of the phrases bug me too. i won't specify for the Dora lovers out there, but man am i glad we don't own these DVDs! and i am glad we don't have cable, because from watching the other cartoon shows for kids at friends houses, i realized there are a few shows that i can't stand... and since we don't have cable...there is no way for them to play in my house! whew! what's funny is that it isn't the repetitiveness that bothers me...stick almost any dreamworks movie in and play it all day, and i'll be reciting the lines and not minding at all... (we have over the hedge, madagascar, veggietales, and cinderella that play and i LOVE these movies no matter how many times i hear them) so i just kept thinking... what happens when they get older and they love a show that gets on my nerves! hopefully it won't be playing in the living room!

so at 1o:30 this morning i cut the Dora off, and decided no more Dora for the rest of the day. it was getting close to lunch time and i was asking kathryn what she wanted to eat while she kept mumbling over and over "i wa wa woh woh" which means "I want to watch Word World" but i had decided we weren't going to watch any show for a while. so she decides she wants to eat cereal for lunch...well, at this point (today she seemed totally herself, energy levels and all) i wasn't going to argue that cereal wasn't a lunch food, so i told her she had to wait till it got soggy, and i asked her if she still wanted it "yah" so i made it. "i nh wah cuol" ok, do you want oatmeal? "yah" "you sure?" "ya" so i made it, and took out rice for daniel to eat and warmed it up...suddenly, she wants the rice instead... i give her the rice, go to make daniel a sandwich and when i give it to him she doesn't want rice, she wants oatmeal... ok... whatever. daniel scarfs down his sandwich so i go to give him the rice, and kathryn wants it again..so i share it between the both of them till it's gone... then i pull the cereal over to see if daniel wants it, he does, so he eats all of kathryn's soggy cereal, and she wasn't touching her oatmeal, so i pull it over to see if Daniel wants some, and he ate some and kathryn finished some too... i just couldn't believe how much daniel ate!

so we ended up having a lot of fun. first we found all the balls and bean bag we could and we played toss it in the basket, then we took just the balls (a lot were golf balls) and i showed kathryn a game that my sisters and i used to play as kids all the time...rolling the golfballs back and forth to each other down the hall (we had a ton of golfballs growing up and we found interesting ways to have fun with them- i used to build pyramids!) it was so much fun, and it got me to thinking about back in the day when i was still a kid... anyway, i taught kathryn how to "roll" the ball by pushing it forward with your hand and we tried to see if we could hit the other golfballs that we already rolled...she had fun and she learned a bit of coordination, and maybe how to aim at a target... well daniel came along , and i showed him how to roll the balls too, and he had fun too, but it didn't last long after daniel joined...so i tickled that silly boy, and kathryn got in the way, so i tickled her too, and then i chased them around the house for some more tickling, and then we just started playing chase, daniel LOVES to be chased...i got a video of the boy, he is too hillarious the way screams when he sees you coming. so then i changed it up with kathryn and she started chasing me, and i ran ahead to "hide" to show her the fun of jumping out and saying "boo". i made her jump when she came where i was hiding...but she loved it...i tried to explain how you do it, you find a place to sit quiet and wait for the other person to come by you, and you jump out and yell boo...well, she didn't quite get it, but it was still fun. we played that until i was pooped out from all the running, then we sat and put a puzzle together, but when daniel comes along, he gets kahtyrn upset, and so puzzle time never lasts long...and then we played with some memory cards i made with words on them instead of pictures... so she can start learning how to identify words. and since she's been sick, i pulled out the "Your Baby Can Read" DVDs and her and daniel watched them all... so i figured we'd watch them again today... well i had passed about 1 1/2 hours of playtime but it sure seemed like 3 to me! i was shooting for 2 hours without tv, and with lunch i think i got that. so both kids were in a good mood, and it was time to wind down it was about 2pm, and i needed to fold about 7 loads of laundry, so i put on the movie of my choice "iron giant" and i folded laundry while they watched the movie. at one point daniel came and crawled in my lap, and so i took a pause to hold him...and i realized he fell asleep! lol. within 5 mins. so laid him down. finished laundry and kathryn even helped put the folded clothes away without me even asking! what a sweetie.

i even got a chance to fiddle with some ribbon while the kids played with stuff in the craft room (buttons on the printer powered off, all the gadgets on the sewing machine, spools of ribbon in a box) but that's ok, they weren't harming anything and at least i could see what they were doing. and i had put away all the things i didn't want them touching, so that was nice.

on a side note, i really don't remember it raining so much last december! and i remember now i am so glad i don't have Henry (the dog), every time it would rain he would always potty in the house almost never outside (it's raining, come on) and when he did go outside he'd get so filthy i'd practically need to bathe him every time! just thinking about how annoying that was makes me oh so glad i'm not going through that with all this rain.

another side note! i forgot to post it earlier, but Dec. 15 marked the 8 year anniversary since John and I started dating... i can hardly believe we've been together for that long, and wow have we changed...as everyone does. i laugh just thinking about how we declared we wanted to marry each other within the first week of being together... but look at us now...married with 2 kids. wow how the time flies. sometimes i look back at the letters we wrote to each other, and marvel at how much we loved each other even then, of course we were "in love" where the other can do no wrong and life is all butterflies and roses. lol. and oh how times change even love. our love is on a different level, and it's interesting looking back on how it evolved. the next few pics are within the first few months we were together...

too cute.

so i've caught kathryn telling daniel no and getting all upset about him doing something as trivial as climbing on her bed, and i try to tell her it's not a big deal, but how do you explain to toddlers that you want to "pick your battles" i don't want her following him around telling him no all the time, but if he is doing something he shouldn't that could hurt him, and i wasn't around to see it and she was, i'd want her to tell him no and stop him... but lately, when i tell her to stop bugging him she turns to me and says "tell daniel no!" (he was jumping on the recliner and i don't care, it's not likely he'll hurt himself bad enough to warrant keeping him from doing it...now if he was bouncing on a chair where he could fall on tile...different story) and suddenly it clicked. she must think it's not fair for me to not discipline him EVERY time he does something wrong or something like that... i don't know exactly the way she is associating it, but i'm pretty sure she's thinking i'm not being fair to her. man that's hard. she was my first kid, so yeah i had been hard on her in the past, but i feel like she's stepping out of "toddlerhood" and into whatever the next stage is...where she is being more obedient without me having to discipline her... so as she steps out, daniel is entering into the toddler stage where he pushes his luck and my patience. but i feel like i've developed a different way of correcting bad behavior or bad "choices" since i was there with kathryn...does she remember? bottom line, different forms of discipline work with different ages, and i don't think daniel is old enough to really start hammering out all the bad... or at least the success will be low...

A Break

well kathryn got to go to her school christmas party today. it was fun to see her with the other kids enjoying herself. watching how they really let her do the crafts...like cutting on the line, glueing, and basically every step... she gets to do...i guess i'm too impatient but i always help her with whatever craft we are doing...so it was something to remember...

Mrs. Terri helping Kathryn string the jingle bell on the pipe cleaner to make a bell

Mrs. Katie drawing Kathryn's Santa face. Kathryn is sitting next to Zachary and in front of Kaeden...she is the only girl in her class there are 7 boys!

Mrs. Katie is holding the paper for kathryn to cut her hat out

Kathryn getting ready to glue Santa's beard on.

Kathryn pushing the beard on Santa

finished Santa's

Kathryn couldn't eat the Christmas tree like everyone else, so luckily they had some pudding.

i liked their schedule on the wall. so now i have a copy! lol.

kathryn did pretty good, but towards the end, i could tell she was zoning out...and suddenly she got really tired. we went home and got ready to go to Aunt Jenni's house and on the way, she kept saying how she was tired, and she wanted to sleep... we get to Aunt Jenni's and she had a permanent frown glued on her face, she just seemed so sad and miserable...but i had given her medicine... i dunno. she must've started to fall asleep and Daniel jumped on the couch and woke her up, cuz she flipped, and started crying and fussing about being tired... poor baby. i held her and sang to her to calm her down and she was fine, but said she was hungry. i made them mac n cheese (over cooked to be super soft for kathryn) and once she ate, it was like a switch was flipped...she was hyper and jumping and playing again.

while i was at Jenni's we made some bows while the kids played. i'll have to take some pictures...

Mimi came by once we got back home and we played with the kids...they got all hyped up but it was cute. i spun daniel around and watched him stumble from being dizzy. it was just funny to see and he laughed too...

so i started working on the bows at my house with a different glue gun that i had been given and i never tried it out...i noticed after i plugged it in, it was leaking glue really bad... so i took the glue stick out and it still leaked glue! well, i just left it, without thinking and about 15 mins later as i was working on another bow it sparked with a loud POP and cut all the lights out... it freaked me out! i unplugged the POC glue gun and threw that away and flipped the switch on the breaker box and it seemed to be ok.

i hope tomorrow goes ok...i can see myself running thin on patience with kathryn's slurred words and fussiness. i am going to try to work out some activities for us to do, and hope i make it. (john gets the car since kathryn isn't going to school and he works 7:30 - 5...the whole day stuck at home with bored kids...these are the times that my brain shuts down and boredom gets worse)

Day 2

so i have found a few changes in kathryn since the surgery... her voice seems higher pitched...you can tell this especially when she gets upset it just gets higher... i don't remember her doing this before. and she is slurring her words really bad now. simple sounds like "b" and "d" get slurred together and you can tell what she is saying! it sounds like complete jibberish! and she gets frustrated cuz i keep asking her to say it again i didn't hear her clearly, and i'm frustrated cuz i don't know what she's asking me for...::deep breaths:: it was quite the battle today. she would mumble "i wa sa mi muy" HUH? or "dao eh beh mi" i don't remember the rest of them but the first was supposed to be "i want chocolate milk mommy" and the second was "daniel is being mean" or something like that...all day it was like this. like it hurt to annunciate her words... but i would ask her to say it after me the right way...and she would say it better... idk. i'm sure it's just temporary, but it took all i had to stay calm and not scream "ughhhhh".

other than that, she is doing well, she went to sleep at 9:15 last night and woke up at 6:50 not complaining of pain... but i gave her medicine anyway. i thought she would wake up through the night... well, she had mac n cheese for lunch and rice and cheese and broccoli casserole...never complained that it hurt. i asked the doc and he said if she wants it, let her try it. but nothing that has sharp edges...noodles and rice are ok... she must have drank, oh, 4 cups (10 oz each) of chocolate milk and 2 cups of juice...that girl never drinks that much...i guess cuz i limit her milk and juice so she will eat food... she was so hydrated her pee was practically clear. so that's good.

i gave her pain meds around 7am and wanted to wait til she seemed like she needed them again, and that time was at 4. she wasn't fussing, but she said she hurt. i was debating on giving her another dose of pain meds before she went to bed, but she fell asleep just after 8 which was just at 4 hours so i figured i'd wake her up when i go to bed to give her some more...man am i sorry i did that! she woke up at 10 shaking and crying holding her hands over her mouth her throat hurt so much! i felt so terrible. she barely could swallow the medicine she was so upset. but i gave her some water to sip and rocked her back to sleep. she's sleeping in my room again so i can hear her if she needs help. tomorrow, if she makes it through the night, i am giving her pain meds and every 4 hours continuing. better for her to be dizzy and sleepy than in pain!

daniel could tell something was wrong. he kept wanting to lay right next to kathryn all day, and when she started crying tonight and i gave her some water i put it on a little table while i rocked her...he came and brought her zizzy and bumblebee, and a blanket and held the cup of water up to her mouth with the straw so she could sip. what a sweet boy. i just love them both so much. they both can be so loving to each other. i hope that lasts. it sure brings tears to my eyes to see the love they show one another.

i convinced kathryn to share the blanket with daniel that all he wanted to do was get underneath it to be next to her. she wasn't in a playful mood
but daniel was not giving up... about an hour later he curled up to her again.
and kathryn loves dora now...lol. they were glued to those shows and still sitting right next to each other. too cute!

this was after kathryn fell asleep around 8:30, daniel was laying on her watching the show "iron giant" which was a really good show btw!

but i pulled them away from the tv for a little while when kathryn was in a good mood (afternoon-ish) and we played hide-and-seek (we hide a certain toy the other goes to find it) i chased her around the house and tickled her good, we read books and made "play" food, and i took down some new puzzles for them to put together but after about an hour and a half, she was saying she was tired and wanted to just lay down and watch movies again. lol. i tried.

john was super sweet to me before he went to work...we got some time to cuddle and he scratched/rubbed my back...it always feels nice to be pampered... he didn't want me to go (check on the kids cuz that all mom's think about!) and kathryn ended up coming in a few mins after i said i needed to check on them it had been 30 mins since i'd come to cuddle... and kathryn was fine she was saying she pressed play on the movie again. lol. so we got some more time and we talked...then i was trying to leave again, and we got in a tickle fight! we haven't done that in ages! oh, we used to do that all the time when we were dating...then it just stopped once we got married... we used to get bruises from them, but non stop laughter and joking throughout...it is just good fun. i must admit that 100% focused attention on me was really nice. even when the kids came in he still held me tight and looked into my eyes while he talked daniel into giving kathryn her blanket... i miss that from him. it's too bad we let life get in the way of finding the time to be in love again. like when we were dating. the cute infatuation... compliments left and right... constant embraces and never wanting to let go. i'll just have to remember how it used to be. i revlove around my kids lives and their needs and i forget to make a revolution around my husband ever now and then...

i'll end with this quote i found in my planner (franklin covey):

"Whenever you are asked if you can do a job tell them "certainly, i can!" then get busy and find out how to do it" Theodore Roosevelt

kathryn's surgery

i woke up at 5:30 gathered everything up i could remember to bring, put it in the car, got kathryn out of bed around 5:45, put her in the car, and we were off. i was trying not to flip out from all the unknowns, and just take it as it came...i had prepared myself... got the finances in line, decided what time we needed to leave to get there on time, and planned what we might need to keep us entertained as we waited (books)...so we got there at 6:20 (5 mins late, but no biggie) signed papers, paid our $263 to the facility and waited for them to call us back. it wasn't a long wait, but we somehow ended up in seats right in front of the water fountain (kathryn couldn't have anything to eat or drink after 9) so that was frustrating for kathryn to be reminded she was thirsty but to hear she couldn't have any...

for some reason she said she wanted cake...i told her she could have whatever she wanted after surgery: popsicles, ice cream, juice, chocolate milk, yougurt "water" she interjected, "yes, if you want water, you can have water too" as i said that she jumped up and started for the water fountain, i had to laugh, "no sweetie, no water before your surgery, you'll have to wait til after" she is sneaky. i'm really bad at convincing anyone to do something they don't want to do... i was worried she'd suddenly stop cooperating and get really scared or uncomfortable...

we finally got called back, and they took her vitals, then she had to get her ankle braclet on and i got one that matched on my wrist...she didn't want it on. i told her if she didn't have it on, they wouldn't know who her mommy was, and they might give her to the wrong person! that's why mommy had one too, so they would see we matched. then she had to take her shirt off and get a gown on...she was not wanting that gown on...i pulled out the "present" (nemo book) i got her just for her surgery, and convinced her to put her gown on so we could look at the book... we were waiting for at least 20 mins (which with a kid who doesn't want to be there can be a LONG time) to have them do the next step... the doc finally came told us the anesthesiologist was going to come by and get kathryn after we sign the disclaimer and then the surgery would start. so the doc and his nurse came and told us she'd get the gas type of anesthesia which sometimes makes kids nauseous, and then they would put her IV in and begin the surgery... i signed papers, then watched them carry kathryn to "blow up balloons" and went back in the waiting room.

it was 15 mins max before the doc came out to let us know the surgery went well, and they were waking kathryn up to make sure she was fine then we could go see her. Corine got there (my mom had met me there too) just before we went back to see kathryn... this was the part i was bracing for...i was warned that they freak out and fuss... she was really wiggly, but no fussing or crying...i picked her up, sat in the rocking chair and held her tight so she'd feel secure (she was wanting her IV out of her hand) and she just kept rolling her eyes all around like she was drunk and rolling her head totally dazed and confused.

it was sad seeing her like that. she would open her eyes really big and just stare around... but no sound what so ever. we asked her how she felt and she sounded really horse, almost no sound but i could smell the anesthesia gas they gave her as she breathed. i rocked her and she fell asleep. she slept for about 10 mins and then her IV bag finished and the nurse wanted to take her IV out...so we woke her up and she seemed a bit more herself, just really drowsy. got the IV out, and grandma's got her some juice and helped her take some sips. she did really good with drinking! she downed an entire 12 oz of juice within the hour of her waking up and the nurse said whenever we are ready to take her home we can...wow...that was quick! it was only 9...so we decided to go ahead and take her home. she was talking to us and saying mimi was coming over and "bammie" too, and even told the nurse "buh bye, i dove u" too funny.

so we head back home...and on the way kathryn tells me she's tired... then i hear what sounded like a burp i look in the rear view, and kathryn starts throwing up all that juice she just drank...i was on the on ramp to the interstate, so i pull over immediately, help her feel comfortable, get the stuff off her face, and go home. she fell asleep on the way. poor lil thing. i guess the anesthesia did make her nauseous...

we gave her a bath as soon as we got home, and i headed out to pick up her pain meds and a few things from the store, mimi and bammie stayed with kathryn and daniel... i got back home and Corine had started a load of dishes and cleaned the counter and table! too nice too nice. (the dishes were John's responsibility) i tell ya, what would i do without all this help we get.

kathryn was pretty groggy all day and basically just slept or laid down and watched movies...she did do really well with eating and drinking tho. no problem there. i can't tell ya how thankful i am that she has done so well so far. (prayers were answered for sure)

my mom helped me fold the laundry that had built up over the last month (lol) and we played with daniel. we had a pretty good day. kathryn started getting upset closer to bedtime when she couldn't have rice casserole like daniel (she pitched a fit for this one, crying about wanting gumbo) and when i wasn't making her chocolate milk in the right cup... patience patience.

i had to take a picture of him with my glasses on. he looks so scholarly! haha

he actually was pulling mimi back on him...and she squished him. but he was loving it!

but the best part (for me) was when Jamie and Joe Hamilton came over with their girls Allison and Sarah. Daniel and Kathryn had friends to play with and Mommy had friends to talk to! yay! and what made it even better was Jamie brought over some of their kids movies for us to borrow! (i was SOOO done watching the daffy duck and speedy gonzales cartoons on dvd...) i really like the Hamilton's because both John and I get along with them! usually i make a friend but john doesn't always make friends with their husbands...but Joe is easy to get along with so yay for having couple friends! we'll have to have them over after the holidays.

oh, and kathryn only had 1 accident...on daddy's chair. since then, we put a diaper on her, but she has only gone through 1 today. that's pretty good.