what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Well, it certainly has been a while since i've updated my blog. so much of my time is being taken up, that i don't have much time to do anything more than what is absolutely necessary. that's ok. it won't be like this forever.

so it's been 2 weeks that i've gone through me and kathryn starting school, and me working full time. when i'm not at school or work, i'm obviously being mommy and homemaker... it's been pretty hectic. school has just begun for me, so i still haven't gotten to the "lots of studying to do " phase. i do know one thing tho, i miss my kids. i see them less now, and i know that's not how i really want it to be.

i know working full time (30-35 hrs a week) and going to school full time (12 hrs) and being a mom does not exactly spell success, and yes, it's a lot to take on...but honestly, done with 2 weeks, and i'm not dead. my body is still adjusting, but i think it's going well, all things considered. next semester may be a different story, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

daniel has been doing speech therapy for about 2 months or so now, and although the speech therapist doesn't do anything special with daniel (wow, i can do that) it made me really recognize those moments that daniel is ready to practice talking...and of course he really only does it for me (i suppose) but he'll come up to me when we are at home, and show me something and try to say the name, and then we'll discuss what the names of things are, and how to say them, and he repeats it back to me, or tries to. it's wonderful. be he has to initiate it. if i try to say "daniel say bear" when he didn't approach me, he'll just stare at me. but he can say quite a bit that is mostly understandable. words like: cup, up, dog, bag, doc, duck, please, thank you, run, go, bite, mine, no, yes, all done, more, milk, cookie, juice, team work, word world, etc...and the list keeps growing. yesterday he worked on saying "ice cream" it sounds like "ice peam" but close enough. he is doing really well with trying to say new words. and he has most of his letter sounds down. he just gets really shy around people. and he is not fond of strangers. he'll be very clear and tell them "back" for "stay back" while pointing. which i guess is a good thing? he recently has been hurting himself a lot. he busted his face open while jumping on our bed last week. he bounced right off and into the drawer pull. it healed really well though.

kathryn is very friendly. unfortunately not many people can understand her still, so when she says "wa u name" some people just ignore her. which, is fine. she doesn't seem bothered by it. but she sure gets upset when i get confused because she says "pau vop" and i don't know what she is talking about... apparently that is supposed to be "cough drop" "mimi said i could have one when i get to her house" ah, ok...i only figured this out after corine guessed what she was trying to say. haha. she has such a good memory, and she really understands alot more than i may give her credit for. she is always the one to remember the prayer before we eat. and she remembers the "should be" routines..."we have to brush our teeth before bed" fortunately she is great about going to bed. infact, she'll come find me and tell me she's tired and wants to go to bed. daniel is a different story. he likes to stay up and be right by me. she is doing ok in school. the teachers say that she isn't going well with "listening" and obeying orders...she didn't want to help pick up toys, and she didnt want to stop what she was doing when it was time to be done... so maybe we'll have to work on that some.

it sure is hard to try and find time to work on school work when the kids are up. i am the kind of person that has to focus (especially writing papers) and with kids, no interruptions is impossible. which is fine, but now i have very little time once they go to bed to focus and get the school work done before i fall asleep on myself. work really isn't the issue. even if i werent working, i still wouldnt be able to steal enough time to focus while the kids are up. my body has been sore the last 2 weeks, so i guess that means i'm building some muscles. that is the one thing this job has done for me for sure. i'm getting toned. my legs (inner and outer thighs) are shrinking and the muscles are much more defined now. my arms...i have defined biceps now! kinda crazy. and my stomach...well, of course the "baby pooch" is still there all nice and squishy, but it's shrunk as well. and i don't have much love to handle around my hips any more. my obliques are...acutally visible now. ok, well, i am just amazed, becuase i haven't looked this good since high school. and i feel better about myself. i don't have near the pressure on my feet anymore. my legs aren't in pain after being on them for an hour, and my energy level has risen, even though i suck it all up with everything i do. i've been working at FritoLay now for almost 5 months. and almost 1 month ago, i accepted a full time position. mainly for the paid vacation and holiday, and the fact that i was basically already working the same amount of hours. i am just called full time now. there is no minimum required number of hours you have to maintain, so if i don't hit 30 hrs (2 weeks ago i was at 27hrs) no big deal. and they have great benefits. i will sign up for dental and vision for sure and use it while i can. this full time job for me is definitely temporary. when it becomes too much, i can simply step down, no problems. i didn't commit to stay full time or anything like that, so i'm not worried about it. it's the one part of the equation that i have complete control over.

i am determined to be debt free by the end of the year, so any extra income i can muster...i will do so. i want to give the kids a nice christmas this year. i want to finally be free of credit cards and car notes (the car notes are gone already, but we'll never get another one!) and have a nice savings to fall back on in case something does happen. so that is why i have this job. and it has worked out so far. we have about $2800 left till we can scream "WE'RE DEBT FREE!!!" and we can't wait. it doesn't stop there though, once we are debt free we have to build up a savings of 3-6 months worth of expenses, which is quite a bit. i think we settled on $5000. and of course we will be saving for retirement while building up the savings, and also putting money into an ESA or education savings account for both the kids, so they can go to college. ah, it's so nice to have a plan. and to feel successful. and we already have a family vacation planned, which we can pay cash for once it comes next summer. being able to enjoy life, instead of feeling tied down...

on a side note, we have been in our house for over a year now! it's crazy to think it's been that long. i'm trying to think of the things we've done/changed since we've moved in. we painted the living room, i have vegetable gardens now, we put curtains up, and hung pictures. we have so many plans, but one step at a time.

sadly, the house has certainly suffered since all my time has been taken up. i can hardly keep up with laundry and dishes, maybe some cooking, much less trying to keep the house clean! it's sad because i hate having a dirty house, but i just don't have as much time to clean. it's all about priorities. tomorrow i have a day off, so i'll get to vacuum, and maybe clean the kitchen. john and i tag teamed to mow the grass and clean the outside porch on saturday, so it's not looking terrible. we have however developed a bad spider problem...black/brown widows were numerous on the porch and we've spotted some in the garage. we need to move everything, clean and spray... sigh. time time time. we'll get to it eventually.

so if there is one thing i have learned during this busy time, it is to take the time to prepare the night before. so kathryn and i have school tomorrow, i will make her lunch and mine and get my books ready and lay out her uniform so everything is ready to go in the morning. if i have to go to work right after school, and maybe bring daniel to a babysitter while we are in school, then i will be sure he has a lunch and snacks, and he has a bag ready, and i have everything ill need for work...cup for water, lunch/dinner, clothes to change into, etc. all prepared the night before. it is so easy to wake up and know i've got everything together all we have to do is get dressed and get out the door with all the things i prepared. lately i've been forgetting my phone...ugh. so aggravating. but the preparation the night before has been a life saver. i can go to sleep knowing i have no pressure in the morning. except for hoping traffic isn't bad. so i'm glad i'm doing things the smart way. i'm sure i won't get to post another blog for a while, so until next time...